Creating a Work/Life Balance the Montessori Way

The idea of achieving – much less maintaining – work/life balance can seem impossible. Laughable, even. As you work, shifting from one task to another, it’s perfectly natural for your mind to drift to personal matters. 

Did your kid have a cough this morning? I hope I remembered to RSVP for next week’s meetup. Oh, I need to get a present for my sister’s birthday. Is it time to get the car serviced? 

This kind of thing is bound to happen (repeatedly), even to the most motivated and career-driven amongst us. But when family life considerations start to distract to the point that you’re not doing your job well, or perhaps more importantly, when you start to feel disconnected from your kids because your mind is on an undone work task, something’s not working. Applying Montessori concepts can help balance your personal juggling act! 

Montessori classrooms schedule uninterrupted work cycles, dedicated blocks of time for students to concentrate on a chosen activity without interference. Each child works at their own pace, without feeling like they are competing with other students. They can focus on one task or interest, then they move onto other subjects when they are ready. What kind of adjustments can you make to approximate this kind of situation for yourself, at work and in your personal life? It’s about time, organization, and support. 

Make A Schedule: Set up a daily routine to help you feel more in control. Just as you can mentally prepare your Montessori child by providing information about a new place prior to their initial visit, having an idea of what your day can hold goes a long way. Find the right tool to stay on top of your schedule. Is it an electronic calendar that you can share with your partner, a planner you carry with you at all times, a list app on your phone that can be accessed on the go, or a combination? No wrong answers. 

Prioritize Your Tasks: Understanding what is most pressing to accomplish today can help center your focus. And when you notice that something is consistently falling to the bottom of your list or repeatedly getting pushed to tomorrow’s list, you may realize that it isn’t as important as you thought. Maybe you need to have a conversation. Maybe it belongs on someone else’s list. Maybe it can be taken off the list altogether. 

Be Fully Present: With your family, it’s not the quantity of time you spend together; it’s the quality. Set your phone to Do Not Disturb during shared meals and family gatherings. Leave it in the other room and spend even ten minutes every night for a “How was your day?” talk with your kid. At work, make your environment as free of personal distractions as possible. Like the intentionally structured Montessori classroom, do the pre-work of setting up your space to have easy access to the tools you need to maximize productivity. 

Build A Reliable Network of Support: And keep the lines of communication open with everyone. Find childcare that aligns with your values. Join or establish a support group that reflects your own situation, like Montessori families, single parents, or your religious community. Talk to trusted neighbors about how you can pool resources for carpooling or playdates. It is helpful for everyone to have a shared understanding of your children’s needs and how they can be met. 

Be As Flexible As You Can: Most days are not going to be totally predictable. Traffic, illness, unexpected visitors, inclement weather, special events, accidents – none of us are impervious to the world swirling around us. But you can find ways to manage the unplanned, even when the day goes totally sideways. 

Are you able to work remotely on occasion? Can you negotiate different work hours, on a permanent basis, or just for the day your kid has a midday school performance? Talk to your employer, coworkers, and partners about making changes. You never know what the possibilities are unless you ask. 

Have “what if?” conversations with family members and friends (and everyone else who plays a significant role in your everyday life), about who is equipped to step in when the unexpected happens, or when you are particularly spread thin. You don’t need to have specific alternative plans figured out for every possible blip, but it helps to know who is available to help you reorient and reorganize with some ease. 

Be Realistic and Have Empathy for Yourself: Just as we encourage Montessori kids to learn at their own pace, adults can use a reminder that your path is your own! Set realistic expectations based on your experience, not what you see others doing or achieving. Everyone has different resources and circumstances. Chances are those you admire have hidden struggles as well. 

Practice self-empathy. Take care of yourself so you can care for your family. Give yourself grace. We’ll say it again, and again, and again. You are a human being, and you are doing your best. Some mistakes have painful consequences. Acknowledge your feelings, learn from your missteps, ask for help, lean on your network, and find healthy coping mechanisms that work for you. Silent meditation? Walk around the block? Call a friend? Scream into a pillow? You do you. 

Model Behavior: The kids witness your conduct when you experience setbacks. Let them hear you say “I don’t know,” or “I need help,” and see you work with others. It gives them a sense of safety to hear you say words they may find difficult to say themselves. It normalizes utilizing a network of support when it is needed. 

A Montessori education is designed to encourage their growth and independence. It also equips them to understand that there is not just one “right” way to do anything. There is no one-size-fits-all path to learning for your Montessori student, and there is no “right” way to be a working parent. What matters most is that you show up consistently for your children and for yourself. You’ve got this. 

Listen to “Creating a Work/Life Balance the Montessori Way,” a Modern Montessori Podcast by Neo Global! And to make the most of the time you have together, read our articles “How to Have Meaningful Conversations with Your Kid” and “What’s Your Child’s Love Language?” on the Neo Global website.