Montessori Strategies for Building Emotional Intelligence

If you have been listening to our Modern Montessori Podcast and reading the corresponding blogs (hello, supporters!), you may have noticed a connective thread in the subjects we address: how important grace and kindness is to us and to our immersive approach to Montessori education. We have, by design, repeatedly highlighted how conflicts give rise to opportunities to practice compassion, for yourself and for your kids. We remind you because it can be difficult to remember that being an adult doesn’t mean you have all the answers. For your child, practicing kindness and compassion reaps a multitude of developmental benefits, including better communication skills, the ability to build positive relationships, and an improved sense of self-worth. 

Educating the whole child within the Montessori system means valuing the development of physical, social, emotional, and cognitive skills. Holistic Montessori methods focus on a child’s individuality (their particular needs, skills, and interests), but it places equal weight on their interconnectedness (how they relate to their family, peers, community, culture, and environment). 

One way to contextualize that balance is to reflect on a child’s Emotional Intelligence (EI), the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions as well as the emotions of others. In general, those with a high level of EI are more likely to have satisfying relationships and greater psychological well-being. Developmentally speaking, according to the Global Early Education Report (2025), children who feel acknowledged and emotionally adequate are 60% more likely to exhibit positive social behaviors and self-esteem. The kindness we promote and value as Montessori educators goes hand in hand with ways to improve Emotional Intelligence. 

With that in mind, here are some of the strategies we use to support your kids’ EI, specifically centered on formative early childhood experiences. 

Montessori Strategies for Building Emotional Intelligence (EI) in 3- to 6-Year-Olds with Focus on Acknowledgement and Emotional Adequacy

Acknowledge and Validate Emotions Through Daily Interactions 

When children feel seen, heard, and understood, they enjoy a sense of emotional safety and are less likely to exhibit behavioral challenges. 

• Active Listening: 

When a child is expressing emotions, get down to their eye level and focus your full attention on them. Use reflective language like, “I see that you’re feeling frustrated because your block tower fell. That’s okay to feel upset.”

• Emotion Journals: 

Provide tools like drawing pads where children can express their feelings visually if they struggle with words.

• Respect Cultural Expressions of Emotions: 

Some cultures encourage quieter emotional expression. Be mindful of these differences and allow children to express themselves in ways that feel natural to them.

Promote Emotional Adequacy Through Everyday Practical Life and Sensorial Activities 

Hands-on Montessori activities build independence and self-confidence, reinforcing the belief that their efforts are meaningful and valuable. When children feel capable, their emotional adequacy flourishes. 

• Encourage Self-Chosen Activities That Align With Their Developmental Stage: 

For instance, pouring water or folding napkins provides tangible success and pride in accomplishment. 

• Use Calming Sensorial Materials: 

Sand trays and sound cylinders help children self-soothe and build emotional regulation skills. 

• Acknowledge Effort Over Outcomes: 

“You worked very hard to match all the fabrics. I noticed how careful you were—well done!” 

Teach Grace and Courtesy for Empathy and Respect

Montessori lessons on grace and courtesy ensure children feel seen and heard in social settings while teaching them to extend the same acknowledgment to others. This nurtures empathy and builds a respectful classroom community.

• Model Positive Behaviors & Interactions: 

Greet peers by name, make eye contact, use polite phrases like “thank you” and “excuse me.” Reinforce these practices as signs of respect and inclusion. 

• Role-Play: 

Act out situations like helping a friend who feels left out. Use inclusive language like “When we invite Mia to play, we’re showing her that she is important to us.” 

• Honor Diverse Cultural Norms in Social Interactions: 

For instance, if some children’s families practice bowing as a greeting, include it in lessons. 

Create a Safe Space for Self-Reflection: The Peace Corner

The peace corner helps children process emotions and reinforces the idea that all feelings are valid and manageable. It encourages emotional adequacy by empowering children to regulate their emotions independently. 

• Stock the Space With Feelings Tools: 

Provide emotion cards, calming jars, and sensory items, and include multilingual guides to help children name their feelings. 

• Teach Children to Visit the Corner When Upset: 

Frame it as a positive choice: “If you feel overwhelmed, the peace corner is a safe place to take a breath and feel better.”

• Acknowledge Self-Regulation Efforts: 

“You went to the peace corner when you felt sad. That was a great way to take care of your feelings.”

Incorporate Multicultural Storytelling and Group Sharing Circles

Sharing personal experiences and hearing stories from diverse cultures helps children understand that their feelings matter while broadening their empathy.

• Use Stories From Different Cultures:

Select stories that depict characters navigating emotions, and discuss it afterward: “How do you think the character felt when they were scared? What would you say to comfort them?”

• Organize Daily Sharing Circles:

Children can express how they feel or something important to them. Create a structured format, like a “talking stick,” to ensure everyone is heard. 

• Affirm Each Child’s Input:

Restate what you heard them say using your own words: “Thank you for sharing that you felt proud when you built your tower. I can see how much it meant to you.”

Celebrate Individuality While Building Community

When children feel their unique contributions are valued, they gain emotional adequacy and develop a sense of belonging. This is crucial for children from diverse racial and cultural backgrounds. 

• Recognize Each Child’s Efforts Publicly In Group Settings:

“Lucas showed kindness by helping Jade clean up today. Let’s give him a round of applause.”

• Celebrate Cultural Diversity:

Plan activities like cooking traditional dishes or sharing family stories. These experiences reinforce that everyone’s heritage is important and valued. 

• Display Each Child’s Work Prominently In the Classroom:

Ensure all contributions are acknowledged equally. 

Imagine how making small changes in the way you speak with your kids can deepen your connection. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every member of your family could feel seen, heard, understood, and valued? 

Looking forward, introducing these strategies into your homelife helps lay the groundwork for your kids to grow into self-aware, self-regulated, self-motivated, and socially aware adults. With EI tools and a Montessori education, they can be well-equipped to participate in a diverse and collaborative global community with confidence and compassion! 

To hear more about Elina’s strategies, listen to the Modern Montessori Podcast episode, “Emotional Intelligence and the Montessori Method”! 

And for related material, read the articles, “Applying Montessori Values at Home” and “Nurturing Kindness” on the Neo Global website!